an eternal prayer

sitting in the bathtub, detangling my hair I finally begin to understand my order in the cosmos.  

everything will straighten itself out 

but not in the heteronormative sense my friend 

this universe is wildly queer and unruly and absolutely free

there is a divine order that I am apart of,

so much bigger than this body and mind. 

this body has moles and callouses and sometimes I break out in hives, 

it is porous and fleshy and at every moment, if I’m not careful I might die 

so what it is about this fragile existence that I am holding onto? 

It’s clear that I simply won’t be here for that long 

but here, there’s also this vast space for my spirit to roam and taste and touch and feel everything deeply. 

to Orgasm many times to the truth 

and to drink 

the air through a straw as though it was my only sustenance. 

this light and this desire so bright 

when I finally surrender, 

to the trickster, that is God